I have 2 boys - 2½ year old and 15 month old. They are the joys of my life. My question is how do other moms discipline their children. I haven’t spanked my babies. I believe in it, I just don’t think they have done anything severe enough to warrant the punishment. They are so little at this point. My 2 ½ year old is pushing my limits more and more every day. We currently have a timeout carpet square “The Green Square” that is used for discipline. I try and channel my inner Joe Frost and be consistent, put them on the square, tell them why they are there and walk away. After the allotted amount of time, I reinforce the “Why” and ask for an apology and love. It works, but now my 2 ½ year anticipates the punishment and once he does something, he says, “Do I need to go to the green square?” My 15 month is becoming more physical with the older one. He has recently been introduced to the green square as well. I’ve started taking favorite toys away as a secondary form of punishment. I don’t yell or scream at my boys and until recently, I haven’t had much problems. I just wondered what other forms of discipline do other mom’s use, other than spanking.
With Love,
Stacee.
staceebrown@charter.net
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I thought I would comment on this one here. I have been trying time outs as well. I would like to ask Jo Frost what I am supposed to do when my daughter throws a tantrum because she doesn't want to get out of time out or when I give her a warning and tell her she will be going to time out if she doesn't stop something and then she has a breakdown because she wanted to go to time out. And there is nothing to do in time out except stand in front of a door. So I am not sure either what to do. But I don't want to resort to spanking so I stick with it.
ReplyDeleteI don't think spanking is the answer. It is a negative reinforcement for the parent. It may give you short term relief, but long term can be more trauma than you realize. I was spanked as a child and it only made me feel embarrassed, powerless, and unloved. I really feel MOST of children's bad behavior is due to inconsistency in parenting (this is not always the case).
ReplyDeleteHave you ever read "Love and Logic" It is an amazing book about parenting children. My husband works with a children's psychologist and she agrees with both my above statements. Stay consistent and your children will learn what is acceptable and not.
Also, I am not perfect, and I am not always consistent, but I am trying harder. And yes, I have lost my cool and spanked my son twice. I regretted it and still do. How can you teach a child not to hit if you are hitting him? Just a thought.
I agree with reading "Love and Logic" GREAT book! I too put my kids in time outs, but when I feel like things are getting out of control I have to stop and instead of thinking of what type of dicsipline is gonna get through to them I put together some sort of reward jar. For example, I'm a mother of three and from time to time my kids fight =) and when timeouts aren't very affective (or lost there spark) I came up with a kindness jar. Everytime I saw them do something nice for the other one they got to put a bean/ball in the jar and when the jar was full we had a movie night or something. I still put them in time outs when they needed it, but I tried to give more attention to the good behavior when they were getting along. That's always seemed to work for me. Hope that helps!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to add one other comment about discipline (one that might actually be helpful). I have found with my daughter that warnings and follow through with a firm voice (not my everyday mommy voice) make a difference. But the follow through is the most important. It is like was said previously, that consistency is the key. So if she is throwing things around I tell her that she needs to stop throwing. Then when she throws things around again (because she always does it a second time) I tell her if she does it again I will pick them up and put the thing up on the counter away where she can't have it the rest of the afternoon, or hour or whatever. She sometimes listens and sometimes she doesn't but if she doesn't I don't hesitate to follow through right then. That goes for if she stands on her chair, or chews on her crayons, or gets on top of the baby. I have done it enough times that now she realizes that mommy really is going to take the thing away. She tests me less. But that is not to say she doesn't test me. We still try time outs. I just watched some Supernannies, so I am feeling regrouped and focused to try and do time out battle. It really can be a battle-disciplining your kids. Thing is that you usually give up before your kids do.
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